Diamond Selver

Are U Judgmental?
How do you deal with your guilt and shame.


Dedicated to the Selver and White Family

Matthew 7:1-3King James Version (KJV)

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

² For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

³ And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Sometimes, we judge others to deal with our own guilt and shame. 

Adults can be very shameful creatures. 

They hate others without a cause.

They ridicule and despise. 

A child was despised.

She was labeled an “attention seeker”.

She died.

At her school, everyone was instructed “Do not speak her name.”.

At her school, “they pretended no one was ever there, she never existed”.

The most hurt was going to a Christmas Concert, and, no moment of silence was held for her at school. 

No silent prayer for the surviving children and family.

No flag at half-staff at the school.   [No grief and mourning allowed.]

No appropriate memorial or the allowance of grieving children at their school to show their grief. 

Instead, ripped were the memorial letters from her locker.

They Called and label her, JUDGED HER, as an attention seeker. 

The professionals whom probably contributed and caused her death say “do not speak her name in this school”.  

It is hard when your child comes home from school crying because school officials did not allow her to grieve, and, instead interrogated her and other school mates.
It is hard rolling up to a school and not seeing the flag at half-staff knowing a tragedy occurred there.
It is hard going to support your daughter at her concert, and, seeing the seats and knowing a young child used to sit and play there, but is now gone, and, kids are forbidden to mention her name.
It is hard addressing it these things through email and not receiving a proper response.  

And, the professionals.

Those professionals that were providing therapy.

The same type of suicide rate is for the professionals.   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3124780/

What does that mean? 

The bottom line here is the therapist and psychologist are first to blame, and, they were working with this child. 

Child Protective Services are secondary [assuming the child is the first to blame] responsible for her death.

Why blame the child for her death? 

She wanted and asked to leave the house.

In her mind, whether or not based in reality, she was stigmatized and labeled a trouble maker.

So, she asked to leave, but was not allowed to leave. 

We were scared of the home environment.

My son did not even want to go to the neighborhood because he was scared. 

It was the GHETTO neighborhood.  I called it Little Africa.

It was an awful neighborhood.

So, was her request to be removed from the neighborhood imaginary or attention seeking. 

No. it was not. 

My daughter remarked on how horrible the home looked inside. 

We only saw the outside and we frightened. 

It is not a sin or bad to grow up and live in the ghetto.

I grew up and lived there and thank God, He made a way for me.

My daughter saw the need when the adults did not. 

She asked me if we could help by having her stay at our home from time to time. 

I said “YES”.  I was not judgmental.  I based my yes on what my daughter saw. 

She saw someone dying and in need. 

She saw one of her best friends.  And, now her best friend is GONE. 

She did not judge Diamond, she wanted to help Diamond. 

I could only hope all the adults could have acted like my daughter. 

Instead of judging, they should have helped. 

Is the judging helping the surviving children?

Now, Diamond’s sister has to attend a school where her sister was labeled a trouble maker, and, the adults, the school and county officials, placed their stamp of approval on that judgement. 

Can you imagine attending a school where your sister was labeled a fool?

Can you imagine the laughing at her because of the adults that lacked sympathy and empathy, but acted hostilely with apathy and negativity?

Can you imaging the surviving children losing their friends and an additional loss if they are transferred from the school?

A beacon of hope was found when I saw the Facebook page announcement on the East Wake Church of God Website.  They announced the passing of a loved one, not the passing of a fool or attention seeker.  No judgment there, but only expressions of love and loss.

The family had a history of problems, they say.

It seems like, “she deserved to die”. 

I cannot find in myself the ability to conclude a child at the age of 13 deserved to die.  I just cannot do it. 

We tried to help.  We showed up to take her to our home; but, we found the county and city law enforcement and emergency services vehicles.  Our involvement with the family was new.  We knew her for a short time.  My daughter made the quick assessment and decision to help.  I supported her and did not JUDGE Diamond. 

I could only hope and pray that as adults we all listen to our children.  That we pay attention to what they say.  That we withhold judgment. That we love them.

Sometimes, God can bring us a message through our children.  Adults can be hard headed and set in  their ways and JUDGMENTAL

. 

Diamond did not deserve to die.

Diamond was not an attention seekers. 

Diamond was a child that sought help.

Diamond was a child that died without getting the help she needed. 
Diamond was an artist.
Diamond was a musician.
Diamond was a singer.

What do we do when we see a family in need, like the White-Selver Family?

It is easier to judge and label them than to try to help. 

I have no heaven or hell to place Diamond in.
I do not know where she is, but that is between her and God.
I do not know if someone egged her on to do what she did.
I do not know her motives.
I do not know if the medications or anything else caused her not to think clearly.
I do not know all these things and other things and I would not rather choose to judge and label her.
I choose, like my daughter, to mourn her loss, and, continue to try to prevent other losses.  And, I am hoping no other family members, siblings included, make the same choice, but we are willing to help to make sure they are able to move past this horror.
Let us reserve judgment for that Day of Judgment that will come.
And, if we offended anyone, I would ask that we all kneel down and pray and ask for forgiveness so that no one else will be lost.
I am praying for her school mates and making the same prayers and efforts for all of them.  

In loving memory of Diamond Selver and the White Family.

My prayers are for Kelly White and the entire surviving family so that they can move pass this difficult time. 

GOD Bless.  

God Anchors

An Anchor

The Holy Bible instructs us to raise a child, train a child in the Lord. 

There is an inherent blessing in fulfilling that command. 

Proverbs 22:6 [Full Chapter]

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

So, what happened;

We were in a Holiday Thanksgiving Day Celebration.  My daughter stated, while seeing others being baptized, that she too wants to be baptized, in her “home church”. 

She stated it was wonderful that all the church congregation members got together to eat a Thanksgiving Day meal; and she stated all the churches need to “do this”.

Prior to going there, I woke up and praised with a heavy heart.  I knew I was going to a dinner wherein the disabled, elderly, homeless, and others in need were not necessarily invited.  So I cried within my soul, while knowing this dinner would be our family celebration because the children were scheduled to be with their mom this year for this holiday.  So, the dinner meant to me an early celebration with my kids, this year. 

We were supposed to eat as a group with my other church friends, but, they did not show due to other commitments, although they stated they would come.  I felt somewhat dejected and out of the way.  I passed all the others welcoming and greeting me, in error, while searching for my friends.  So, I wanted to leave early when I did not find my friends.  I passed through my blessing of saying hi to others whom expressed a desire to “Salud-able” and hospitable.  That was bad on my part.

But, the anchors came in, and compelled me to stay in church.  Most of the time, I take the kids to church when they are reluctant or do not want to go.  I have my anchor in church most of the time.  But, I weighed anchor and was ready to go.  Then my son said, “we cannot go dad …..  this is church”.  There was a unison between both of them. Their anchors held me in place in church. 

This was awesome and the additional blessing of the night.  I had two more anchors now in play.  So, when I am out of the way, two other ones can keep me in the way, and, that is the fruit of training up a child in the Lord, as the command was issued. 

Seeing my daughter involved in ministry; and having her state she wanted to be baptized, is a saved father’s dream and ultimate blessing from the Lord.  Then, having the additional blessing, in one night, of two children willing to help clean up, and stay til the end of service, anchoring me when I felt out of the way and dejected, is awesome.  God is Good and He will give the increase if you follow His command.  Jesus is real.

The Child with the Loaded Gun And Death Came Knocking

The Child with the Loaded Gun

Recently, some loved ones experienced the bouts with substance abuse; so, for the record, I need to share this. 

During my professional career, I encountered a family.  In that family, the parents had substance abuse issues.  In a horrid death, one parent, of many children, was found to have overdosed, half naked, with bodily fluids running.  

The death was not the only death.  One of her children, within a year, committed suicide, partly because of the death of parent. Could the death of the parent provide the facilitation of the suicide of the child?  The answer is yes; and two lives were lost.  One of the parent at a young age, and one of the child in the teens. 

The child was a role model, excelling in many things like ROTC, and the siblings were featured in community newspapers for their turn-around from troubled children. 

A teen gone, a parent gone.  I say this for this reason, do not open the door to the death of your child by partaking in substance abuse.  Your child may follow your actions if you end up dead.  Providing support for your child cannot be done from the grave.  Death by example is not the way a child should die.  Therefore, consider your choice.  You play Russian Roulette with your life, and, say, I won’t OD, I won’t die; but if you do, and your child decides to follow your path, remember the legacy that will be left behind.  And, the devastation to surviving children, and the devastation to surviving loved ones, and grief.  Not all people HEAL from the death of a loved one the same way, and, some transition to the other life with that injury/grief. 

Consider this, not only is the death traumatic, but the memories are too.  The memories of years without a parent present.  That was my legacy.  Substance abuse conquered my dad.  Years of memories of an absent parent are there.  Then, as I grew older, I had to care for that “Dad” that was not “There”.  It was hard, but the Christian thing to do.  But the pain resides each and everyday. That pain is what keeps me motivated to provide as much as I can and be there as much as I can for my children. 

I ask and dedicate this to a loved one.  Please stop the substance abuse.  Would you be okay with our child dying too?  Your children are blessed to have you and look to you for support.  But, DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILD A LOADED GUN, A REASON TO DIE, IF YOU WERE TO DIE. Please, this is my prayer and request, ask God to help you kick that habit, and be there for your children.  

War Room The Offender

War Room – The Offender

The Movie that came out Last Year is Awesome, while filled with many messages. 

Aside from the Primary Message, I would like to focus on a Secondary One.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvBUfx9_kRoGexuOLr3iKtg

Here, you have a person whom was hurt.  Hurt by the consequences of her actions.  The brutal attacks on her deceased husband. The inability to receive forgiveness and reconciliation. 

Sometimes, when we hurt others, we are not provided the opportunity to undo that hurt ever.

Death is a permanent undoing.  That is why the bible instructs us to go to our brother/sister, if we offend them, and correct that hurt. 

Mat_5:23  Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Mar_11:25  And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Taken from the Holy Bible, Esword Edition.

Here, the main actor could not receive forgiveness, or undo the hurt she had caused; but, what she did do was act as a vehicle for God to ensure others do not likewise do as she had done, and, be an example of forgiveness and love to others, while they yet live. 

The Offender, is sometimes that person whom causes the hurt in a marriage or relationship.  This is dedicated to Big J.  Big J, cheated on his wife, caused the end of the marriage.  He sought reconciliation; he sought forgiveness, but his ex-wife, was not amenable/open to his attempts to undo or take responsibility for his actions, and to ask for forgiveness.  That hurt and wound was still open, although many years had transpired, in her mind, and Big J was being led to attempt to heal that wound.  He did the right thing, he sought forgiveness, and, reconciliation, and then, when that was denied, he moved on to another healthier relationship.  His blessing is with him, while, the hurt and healing is still needed with his ex-wife, and it is unknown how that will transpire, because all of us are responsible for our individual relationship with God. 

Through the course of my life, both professionally and personally, I have regrets, and there are things that just cannot be changed, because of death, dedicated to BH, while, others are in my prayer for the opportunity to just speak peace and be in good standing PH.  However, I have made it my life to make sure that whenever possible, and as necessary, to make sure I do not cause the same injury again.  I am in ministry for that specified goal. 

We are humans by nature and being, and will offend others.  The focus must be how to make sure we are not causing injury, without cause, to others, and unnecessarily.  And, should we injure others, then we must care to make amends when God provides that opportunity.  You do not want the Tormentor to Mess with your Mind with Guilt Trips over Offenses in Your Past that remain unresolved. 

The Key is to seek the direction from God to know when and if you can seek forgiveness or reconciliation.  It is not always possible or in the Will of God, but, you best Pray and seek His face and His will to know when he is asking you to go to someone to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes peace and redemption arrive by acts of contrition and a change in lifestyle and mannerism and an acute awareness that the next day is not guaranteed.  And, remember, He may ask you to seek it, but the other person may not be able to or just receive your act, but the blessing will still be yours.  And, remember, a sinner is a person by habit whom choses the same action, willingly, knowing he/she is hurting others.  Do not willfully hurt others, while acknowledging it does happen.  God Bless. 

Please receive this in peace, and, You cannot ask for forgiveness while still in the act of inflicting hurt on others.  Stop sinning and then ask for forgiveness if possible.

Dedicated to BH, PH, and Big J.  I am proud of you Big J.  

What God Has for Me it is for Me.

The words of the song right so true; there is no cooker cutter approach to salvation.

Lo que Dios Tienes Para Mie es para mi.

I remember  Minister Exxxx Exxxx, a great Young man during my time at Universal Temple.

His wife cheated on him.  He did not know the Lord initially, and, was heading towards the Muslim path.  He married into faith, his wife was a member of the church.  A dynamo so to speak, had a lot to say, and she was in church on the regular.

Well, she cheated on him after a brief period in marriage.  He had moved up in the ranks at church and was quickly found a place for him as a Minister of God.  Wow, he used his talent and zeal to bring other to Christ, and had an awesome ministry to the Muslim population. 

The interesting aspect of the cheating is this.  His ex-wife brought the boyfriend to the bedroom, and, he would sleep in the living room while the mess was going on.  God had not given him a release to leave her as of yet.  He continued that way for several months until God had given him the release.  All the while he was praising and Glorying God and ministering from the Pulpit, and had the support of our pastor. 

Similarly, there was a sister of the church, a then mother of the church when I had joined.  Her husband was a mean person whom hated the Lord.  She stuck to church in spite of it all.  When she would pray, he would do things like lite matches and put them to her feet; but she kept on serving God, for years.  Then one day, God just took him out of the picture, and she still loved him, but she never received the release to leave him, and stood by the side of her husband. 

For years after my divorce, I wanted to curse my ex-wife for leaving me.  And, for years I had no received the release to do so.  A release just came up recently when I was talking with someone outside of church last night.  We talked about the fact that church is an EMERGENCY ROOM, and, many people do not understand that.  They come to church expecting true CHRISTIANS, and are dismayed when they find a MESS.  But, the topic came up when we discussed the fact that my ex-wife, married, cheated with a Married Worship leader at a local church.  And, the further distressing component is the pastor, was told of the scenario, did not “Sit Down” the parties involved in the cheating, but allowed them to continue, while committing adultery in the home, to be praise and worship leaders.  Hum? 

I know in the church I had come from, that if you were the offending party, the pastor, once he would verify what happened by talking to you, would talk about you so bad from the pulpit, that he would not ask you to leave, but the outcast from the congregation and backlash from them was so bad, you would walk out because you could not take the pressure. 

Years ago I took the dogmatic stance that if your spouse committed adultery, that you were obligated to leave the home and not stay in sin.  Through years of being a Christian, and, years now of being in divorce care groups, that God can withhold a release in the life of a Christian.  He can ask that Christian to stay with the offending person.  While an offending person was always admonished to stop, and, had they been at Universal that person would voluntarily leave often.  I have seen people stay in relationships with the offending party, and that relationship was restored.  Many Christian, especially the Newbie experiencing divorce, went through a mixed multitude of experiences.  Some did not have the strength to leave the offender, but needed support and help to leave the offender, that his when they would get the release.  They would look around at other group members, and the members would testify of the support they received from the church, and those members provided the support to strengthen the person to leave the offending other.  Again, some were never provided a release but were asked of God to stay in the relationship.  The bottom line is just because there is an absolute in my life, and God has asked me never to return to the offending party, that does not mean the same must and will hold true for you, while ensuring that you do not support or condone sin. 

It is like one person our pastor had married.  The church she attended in VA was of the theology that once you are married, you cannot marry again, even if you were not the offender.  My pastor knew the bride and groom to be and married them although they were an outcast from their home church in VA.  The point is, sometimes the Will of God and what God asks us to do may not be what others are asking and telling us to do.

I say this because of a recent conversation today that reminded me of such, and my divorce care experience and years of seeing my departed pastor live Christ in action. 

Divorce care is a tool to set up a system to help others follow the will of God.   I have seen many come to God and Be Blessed after being broken and trodden down due to divorce.  The church, a testimony and vehicle in action, provided support in the form of counseling and SERVICES AND HELP, to the extent that many were empowered to live for Him, and move from NEWBIES in Christ to people with testimonies and witnessing and supporting others to make it through the same rough road. 

Many preachers say, I told them to do it,  I told the congregation to do XYZ.  Sometimes, telling and showing are two different things.  Setting up a system of support and groups in church and providing services is a SELF EVIDENT testimony and LURE to bring others to Christ.  The people will bring people to Christ when newbies see the support and the love that the church has to offer.  I told them to go to the nursing homes and assisted living facilities, while the church vans remained in the parking lots on Wednesday Night Bible Study and Sunday Morning services.  I remember my pastor pulling up with the church van full of Mothers Of the Church on Sunday; He showed them by example when they would not do it by being asked to.  The pastor at the church Wednesday night said, I too cleaned the toilets, the men’s room and women’s rooms, and did everything I asked others to do.

Dedicated to La Senora that needs help to Leave the cheating Husband and EL PASTOR that is open to new ideas and services. 

Last night it was tragic while being at one church and he stated “I want to start all these programs and nobody wants to help.”.

What God has for me is for Me. And what he asked me to do may be different from your charge.  Let us be a church in actions with services and groups and support.  Not the whole, AHH, you are living in Sin, repent, etc, pero, déjame ayudarte, y el testimonio viene de la gente en la iglesia; y hay hermanos y hermanas en la iglesia para ayudarte si Dios te dices deja su esposo o esposa por el pecado de ellos y ofensa.  We need the groups and services to help people depart from sin, as the Lord Leads them to, and help the homeless and the hungry and the down trodden and those that cannot attend church on their own, they need a ride. Etc.

Prayerfully posted. God Bless.  

What God Has for Me it is for Me.

The words of the song right so true; there is no cooker cutter approach to salvation.

Lo que Dios Tienes Para Mie es para mi.

I remember  Minister Exxxx Exxxx, a great Young man during my time at Universal Temple.

His wife cheated on him.  He did not know the Lord initially, and, was heading towards the Muslim path.  He married into faith, his wife was a member of the church.  A dynamo so to speak, had a lot to say, and she was in church on the regular.

Well, she cheated on him after a brief period in marriage.  He had moved up in the ranks at church and was quickly found a place for him as a Minister of God.  Wow, he used his talent and zeal to bring other to Christ, and had an awesome ministry to the Muslim population. 

The interesting aspect of the cheating is this.  His ex-wife brought the boyfriend to the bedroom, and, he would sleep in the living room while the mess was going on.  God had not given him a release to leave her as of yet.  He continued that way for several months until God had given him the release.  All the while he was praising and Glorying God and ministering from the Pulpit, and had the support of our pastor. 

Similarly, there was a sister of the church, a then mother of the church when I had joined.  Her husband was a mean person whom hated the Lord.  She stuck to church in spite of it all.  When she would pray, he would do things like lite matches and put them to her feet; but she kept on serving God, for years.  Then one day, God just took him out of the picture, and she still loved him, but she never received the release to leave him, and stood by the side of her husband. 

For years after my divorce, I wanted to curse my ex-wife for leaving me.  And, for years I had no received the release to do so.  A release just came up recently when I was talking with someone outside of church last night.  We talked about the fact that church is an EMERGENCY ROOM, and, many people do not understand that.  They come to church expecting true CHRISTIANS, and are dismayed when they find a MESS.  But, the topic came up when we discussed the fact that my ex-wife, married, cheated with a Married Worship leader at a local church.  And, the further distressing component is the pastor, was told of the scenario, did not “Sit Down” the parties involved in the cheating, but allowed them to continue, while committing adultery in the home, to be praise and worship leaders.  Hum? 

I know in the church I had come from, that if you were the offending party, the pastor, once he would verify what happened by talking to you, would talk about you so bad from the pulpit, that he would not ask you to leave, but the outcast from the congregation and backlash from them was so bad, you would walk out because you could not take the pressure. 

Years ago I took the dogmatic stance that if your spouse committed adultery, that you were obligated to leave the home and not stay in sin.  Through years of being a Christian, and, years now of being in divorce care groups, that God can withhold a release in the life of a Christian.  He can ask that Christian to stay with the offending person.  While an offending person was always admonished to stop, and, had they been at Universal that person would voluntarily leave often.  I have seen people stay in relationships with the offending party, and that relationship was restored.  Many Christian, especially the Newbie experiencing divorce, went through a mixed multitude of experiences.  Some did not have the strength to leave the offender, but needed support and help to leave the offender, that his when they would get the release.  They would look around at other group members, and the members would testify of the support they received from the church, and those members provided the support to strengthen the person to leave the offending other.  Again, some were never provided a release but were asked of God to stay in the relationship.  The bottom line is just because there is an absolute in my life, and God has asked me never to return to the offending party, that does not mean the same must and will hold true for you, while ensuring that you do not support or condone sin. 

It is like one person our pastor had married.  The church she attended in VA was of the theology that once you are married, you cannot marry again, even if you were not the offender.  My pastor knew the bride and groom to be and married them although they were an outcast from their home church in VA.  The point is, sometimes the Will of God and what God asks us to do may not be what others are asking and telling us to do.

I say this because of a recent conversation today that reminded me of such, and my divorce care experience and years of seeing my departed pastor live Christ in action. 

Divorce care is a tool to set up a system to help others follow the will of God.   I have seen many come to God and Be Blessed after being broken and trodden down due to divorce.  The church, a testimony and vehicle in action, provided support in the form of counseling and SERVICES AND HELP, to the extent that many were empowered to live for Him, and move from NEWBIES in Christ to people with testimonies and witnessing and supporting others to make it through the same rough road. 

Many preachers say, I told them to do it,  I told the congregation to do XYZ.  Sometimes, telling and showing are two different things.  Setting up a system of support and groups in church and providing services is a SELF EVIDENT testimony and LURE to bring others to Christ.  The people will bring people to Christ when newbies see the support and the love that the church has to offer.  I told them to go to the nursing homes and assisted living facilities, while the church vans remained in the parking lots on Wednesday Night Bible Study and Sunday Morning services.  I remember my pastor pulling up with the church van full of Mothers Of the Church on Sunday; He showed them by example when they would not do it by being asked to.  The pastor at the church Wednesday night said, I too cleaned the toilets, the men’s room and women’s rooms, and did everything I asked others to do.

Dedicated to La Senora that needs help to Leave the cheating Husband and EL PASTOR that is open to new ideas and services. 

Last night it was tragic while being at one church and he stated “I want to start all these programs and nobody wants to help.”.

What God has for me is for Me. And what he asked me to do may be different from your charge.  Let us be a church in actions with services and groups and support.  Not the whole, AHH, you are living in Sin, repent, etc, pero, déjame ayudarte, y el testimonio viene de la gente en la iglesia; y hay hermanos y hermanas en la iglesia para ayudarte si Dios te dices deja su esposo o esposa por el pecado de ellos y ofensa.  We need the groups and services to help people depart from sin, as the Lord Leads them to, and help the homeless and the hungry and the down trodden and those that cannot attend church on their own, they need a ride. Etc.

Prayerfully posted. God Bless.  

I DESERVE TO COMMIT SUICIDE, YOU SAY

It was about 10 months ago, and an 18 year old, young adult, committed suicide on the Power Hockey team. 

He took the path I almost took. 

At 18 years of age, I was struggling, being a young adult with a disability.  

I was informed of the death by a person whom was struggling at the age of 19 with his own disability.  

An Admirable young fellow, pursing his college education from a wheelchair.

Should he have the right to die to, as others proclaim.

My mom’s had the choice, she could have aborted me.

My mom’s had the choice, she could have abandoned her child born with a disability.

Past the 9 months, she raised me.

Past the 9 months, she instilled a desire to have all her children work and complete their college educations. 

7 children total; 5 of the 7 have college degrees, including myself.

One went to college and the military and dropped out.

One was unable to attend college due to a learning disability acquired from Medical Malpractice.

Those were the two that did not complete their education.

I believe those are good odds. 

Two of the children are veterans; one from the Marines and One from the Army.  The drop out, the Third, was dishonorably discharged for hitting his commander. 

Those are pretty good odds, and the one with a learning disability has worked the entire time while in North Carolina as a Mechanic, and he is “Damn Well Good At It”.

I followed the American Dream, that my mom’s instilled with me.

A Master’s in Political Science, A Sociology BA, 2 years worth of Law School, about Three years worth of Theology, and about 1 years worth of Education Training (Teacher), and 6 years worth of Social Worker Training (Child Welfare Social Work Courses in North Carolina).  Total School Debt $140,000.00  And, Unemployed for the Past 6 years.  You go figure, is there a need to employ the disabled?  I did what was asked of me, for what, to be unemployed?  Can you help remedy the problem? Or, are you okay with the issues? 

Do I deserve to commit suicide, like many feel I should? 

Do the Disabled Veterans Deserve to Commit Suicide?

You tell me the Answer, Your Answer, Send me an email direct, and tell me to “Die” or “Got to hell” or “Here I have a Job for you.”  

The veterans tell me the only jobs they find is working with and in veteran agencies.

The disabled tell me the only jobs they find is working with the disabled, and there are very limited disabled organizations in North Carolina.  Should I be so limited? 

Here is my email address:  Rolavarria012015@gmail.com  Send me an email with your thoughts,  or comments, etc.  God Bless.  

Links to  other data:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2HY8Hn57K53VDI2a19QV2tFTFk

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2HY8Hn57K53S3NDM1VYQm83YlE

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2HY8Hn57K53WFFMSlVHd0ZnakE

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2HY8Hn57K53cnQ3RmV4WHNweHM

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2HY8Hn57K53UERqTGNwdFQtY1k

Fue hace 10 meses, y a un menor de 18 años, adultos jóvenes, se suicidó y era parte del equipo de Hockey en sillas de ruedas con poder.

Él tomó el camino casi yo tome.

A los 18 años de edad, estaba luchando, siendo un joven adulto con una discapacidad.

Se me informó de la muerte por una persona que estaba luchando de la edad de 19 años con su propia discapacidad.

Un joven admirable, que ejercen su educación universitaria desde una silla de ruedas.

¿Él debe tener el derecho a morir, como otros proclaman?

Mi madre tenía la opción, ella podría haber abortado de mí.

Mi madre tenía la opción, ella podría haber abandonado a su hijo con una discapacidad.

Después de 9 meses, ella me crió.

Después 9 meses, ella le inculcaron el deseo de tener a todos sus hijos trabajar y completar su carrera universitaria.

7 niños en total; 5 de los 7 tienen títulos universitarios, entre los que me incluye.

Uno de ellos fue a la universidad y los militares (el ejército) y lo abandonado.¿

Dos de ellos son veteranos; uno de los Infantes de Marina y del ejército. La caída, el tercero, fue dado de baja de forma deshonrosa por golpear a su comandante.

Las probabilidades son bastante buenas, y el otro con una discapacidad de aprendizaje ha trabajado todo el tiempo, mientras que el vives en Carolina del Norte y trabajas como un mecánico, y él es "maldito bien y bueno en su carrera".

He seguido el Sueño Americano, que mi mamá me inculcó.

Tengo un máster en Ciencias Políticas, y un BA en Sociología, y 2 años de la Escuela de Derecho (para ser abogado), aproximadamente tres años de teología, y de alrededor de 1 años de educación y capacitación (de ser Maestro), y 6 años de la formación de los trabajadores sociales de bienestar infantil (cursos de Trabajo Social en Carolina del Norte). El total de la deuda de $140,000.00 de la escuela y educación, desempleados durante los últimos 6 años. ¿Vaya figura, hay una necesidad de emplear a los discapacitados? ¿Hice lo que me pedía, por lo que estar desempleado? Puede ayudar a solucionar el problema? O, ¿Le parece bien con los problemas o esta situacion?

¿Merezco a cometer suicidio, como muchos piensan que debo?

¿Los veteranos discapacitados merecen a cometer suicidio?

Usted decirme la respuesta, su respuesta, envíeme un mensaje de correo electrónico directo y decirme "morir" o "ir al infierno" o "Aquí tengo un trabajo para usted."

Los veteranos me dicen los únicos trabajos que encuentran está trabajando con agencias y veterano.

Los discapacitados decirme los únicos trabajos que encuentran está trabajando con los discapacitados, y hay muy pocas organizaciones de discapacitados en Carolina del Norte. Debo ser tan limitado?

Aquí está mi dirección de correo electrónico: Rolavarria012015@gmail.com enviarme un correo electrónico con tus pensamientos o comentarios, etc., que Dios le Bendiga

Traslado por computadora no humano.

Resources for Learning Disabilities/DSM IV and DSM 5

DSM V – In effect as early as 10/2015

A second practice shift is indicated by the abandonment of the IQ-­Achievement discrepancy criterion, as well as the omission of cognitive processing deficits in the diagnostic criteria. The discrepancy model has served as the fundamental conceptualization of LD for decades, despite robust evidence that it is conceptually and statistically flawed.

The diagnosis requires persistent difficulties in reading, writing, arithmetic, or mathematical reasoning skills during formal years of schooling. Symptoms may include inaccurate or slow and effortful reading, poor written expression that lacks clarity, difficulties remembering number facts, or inaccurate mathematical reasoning.

http://www.dyscalculia.org/diagnosis-legal-matters/dsm-v-codes

1. Specific learning disorder with impairment in reading includes possible deficits in:

• Word reading accuracy
• Reading rate or fluency
• Reading comprehension

DSM-5 diagnostic code 315.00.

Note: Dyslexia is an alternative term used to refer to a pattern of learning difficulties characterized by problems with accurate or fluent word recognition, poor decoding and poor spelling abilities.

2. Specific learning disorder with impairment in written expression includes possible deficits in:

• Spelling accuracy
• Grammar and punctuation accuracy
• Clarity or organization of written expression

DSM-5 diagnostic code 315.2.

3. Specific learning disorder with impairment in mathematics includes possible deficits in:

• Number sense
• Memorization of arithmetic facts
• Accurate or fluent calculation
• Accurate math reasoning

DSM-5 diagnostic code 315.1.

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/specific-learning-disorder/

Learning Disorders

315.00 Reading Disorder
As measured by a standardized test that is given individually, the patient's ability to read (accuracy or comprehension) is substantially less than you would expect considering age, intelligence and education.
This deficiency materially impedes academic achievement or daily living.
If there is also a sensory defect, the reading deficiency is worse than you would expect with it.
Coding Note
On Axis III code any sensory deficit or general medical condition (such as a neurological disorder).

315.1 Mathematics Disorder
As measured by a standardized test that is given individually, the patient's mathematical ability is substantially less than you would expect considering age, intelligence and education.
This deficiency materially impedes academic achievement or daily living.
If there is also a sensory defect, the mathematics deficiency is worse than you would expect with it.
Coding Note
On Axis III code any sensory deficit or general medical condition (such as a neurological disorder).

315.2 Disorder of Written Expression
As measured by functional assessment or by a standardized test that is given individually, the patient's writing ability is substantially less than you would expect considering age, intelligence and education.
The difficulty with writing grammatically correct sentences and organized paragraphs materially impedes academic achievement or daily living.
If there is also a sensory defect, the writing deficiency is worse than you would expect with it.
Coding Note
On Axis III code any sensory deficit or general medical condition (such as a neurological disorder).

315.9 Learning Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

http://www.dyscalculia.org/diagnosis-legal-matters/dsm-iv-ld-diagnostic-codes

Specific Learning Disorder Specific learning disorder combines the DSM-IV diagnoses of reading disorder, mathematics disorder, disorder of written expression, and learning disorder not otherwise specified. Because learning deficits in the areas of reading, written expression, and mathematics commonly occur together, coded specifiers for the deficit types in each area are included. The text acknowledges that specific types of reading deficits are described internationally in various ways as dyslexia and specific types of mathematics deficits as dyscalculia.

http://www.dsm5.org/documents/changes%20from%20dsm-iv-tr%20to%20dsm-5.pdf

Particularly when Mathematics Disorder is associated with high IQ, the child may be able to function at or near grade level in the early grades, and Mathematics Disorder may not be apparent

until the fifth grade or later.

DSMIV page 51

There is generally a combination of difficulties in the individual's ability to compose written texts evidenced by grammatical or punctuation errors within sentences, poor paragraph organization, multiple spelling errors, and excessively poor handwriting.

DSMIV page 52

315.9 Learning Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

This category is for disorders in learning that do not meet criteria for any specific Learning

Disorder. This category might include problems in all three areas (reading, mathematics,

written expression) that together significantly interfere with academic achievement even

though performance on tests measuring each individual skill is not substantially below

that expected given the person's chronological age, measured intelligence, and ageappropriate

education. 

DSM IV page 53. 

Particularly when Reading Disorder is associated with high IQ, the child may function at or near grade level in the early grades, and the Reading Disorder may not be fully apparent until the fourth grade or later.

DSM IV Page 49.

Page 66/104 Referred to in DSM 5

Links to Files and Resource Links themselves

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlYl9QRVlwS2NoQkU

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8Plb3FKQlkzOWJEMEk

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlOE5ESjR3RkNzeE0

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlVDgtelc3VjJaNHc

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8Pld1ZVNW8telctUGM


Remember, Recueldate, a denial of special services for your child, si servicios para su nino eran negada, that is not the end, eso no es el fin.  Puedes apelar su caso.  You can appeal the denial.   In Wake County, use, Family and Community Connections.  919-4317334, Dani White.  FACC@WCPSS.NET .  En el condado de Wake en Carolina de Norte, debe comunicarse con Family and Community Connections.  919-4317334, Dani White.  FACC@WCPSS.NET .   God is Good.   

I am Sorry for the Way I Look.

I AM SORRY FOR THE WAY I LOOK.

You said, “Just look at you.  You have tennis shoes on, sweat pants, and a shirt on.”. 

Question:  “When I rolled into your office? What level of education did you think I had?”

Answer:  “It is obvious from what you said, you are well educated ………. Yes I thought you only had a high school diploma.”

Yes, I am sorry for not living up to your expectations. 

I want the Rolex Watch, as I discussed with you.

I want the Car, the Cadillac, as I discussed with you. 

I want someone to come cut my grass, and repair my home, as I discussed with you. 

I would love to have someone come to my home and be paid to clean my home and cook (AND PAID OUT OF MY OWN SALARY).

I would love to have a closet filled with clothes that are suits and ties. 

I would love to have all my clothes picked up and dropped off by the cleaners

I would love a home that cost about half a million dollars.

I would love to have vacations in Europe and abroad. 

I would love for my minimum wage to be $35.00 per hour, and would rather a six figure salary at minimum in the $170,000.00 range. 

I want it too. 

I have never been fired from a job because I did not “dress right”. 

I have never been fired for not brushing my teeth.

I have never been fired for smelling so bad.

I have always gone to work with the proper attire. 

And, AS I DISCUSSED WITH YOU, the only problem I had, that caused the end of my last job, is I wanted to use a visitor entrance without a step, versus an employee entrance with a step.  And yet and still, the victim was blamed (me), as we discussed. 

I am sorry I did not meet your expectations; it is one of those blaming the victim moments.

I have the $140,000.00 in student loans. 

I have the Master’s and was well on my way to the PHD or JD. 

I did what society asked me to do, when I was declined from signing up for the military.

It was 1987, shortly after high school. I went to sign up for the military.  I did not want to be a burden to society.  I wanted to fight and work for my country.  I did not want to be on a government check. 

I entered to ARMED FORCES recruiting offices on Flatbush Avenue and Glenwood in Brooklyn New York.  I asked them to sign me up.  They took out their biggest book with all the excluding conditions, and asked me what I had, scoliosis was one condition.  They looked it up, saw the exclusion, and off I went sadden.    They initially thought I was going there for veterans benefits after having served my country.

So, off on my second try at school I went.  Now I can say that I am a "Certified Educated Idiot" because I have the degrees to prove it. 

As we discussed, I was told, if you get your education, you will get a job, you will have a career, you will have the nice home, the nice, car, the manicured lawn, the home with the artist paintings, and the lush rugs, and the meals cooked and prepared.  That is what I was promised, despite my disability.

The reality is I am living in poverty.  The reality I am struggling to survive.

I am sorry that you presented as feeling somewhat repulsed by my presence.

I am sorry I do not go out to play gulf.

I am sorry that the majority of the people like me, statistically and factually, live in poverty.

I am sorry that the majority of veterans commit suicide, once they are disabled and have fought for their country. 

I am sorry that the highest crime rates are near the military bases. 

I am sorry that from 1990 until present, even with the ADA, the unemployment rate among the disabled is still 2/3.

I am sorry that it was only in the 1990s that the first veteran nursing homes were established in this state.

I am sorry that this state has one of the highest concentrations of veterans. 

I am sorry that the “tax incentive” to hire disabled veterans are not enough to get veterans employed.

I am sorry that veterans tend to be only hired by veteran agencies and organizations, while, the disabled too tend only to be hired by disabled organizations. 

I am sorry I did not come to your office with the fancy suits and the fancy shoes, and, showed the true state that many disabled people and veterans live in in this state.

I am sorry and hoping that you actually focused on the issue. 

The shirt I typically wear has the “DO NOT ENTER EMBLEM”. 

Had I come to your office with a suit and tie, would that make the difference.  Perhaps, I needed a check in hand, a bribe, ticket to the BROADWAY SHOW, theater, etc. 

I am thankful to those legislative assistants that welcomed me with open arms. 

And, I am sorry, to those LA’s that feel like the LA I met this past Monday.  The feeling of being disgusted, while we talked frankly.  “How could you come looking like that?”  What is wrong with you?  She told me her horror story of being in the office and having to talk with an evidently psychotic person, and the unfortunate reality of having to greet the public and have “All types of People” in her office.  It takes a thick skin to deal with the general public, but, having feelings of love and compassion is different from varying level of distaste, incredulity, and disdain.  As you look for answers in a Public Administration and/or Policy Degree, remember humanity. 

The better ones are the ones with the suits and ties and “The Right Look”. 

A disabled person will never have the right look.  And, it was not my choice to have this “LOOK”.  They will always look to the wheelchair first, and talk to the person standing behind me, as if I do not talk or am able to communicate for myself.  That is why I tend to “come alone” to the LA offices, because it is a lifetime of Every Able Bodied person talking to the other person that came with me. 

I was born with cerebral palsy; that is a birth defect.  I did not choose to abide in a young, healthy, beautiful/handsome body. 

I got the impression when you made the comment about the “right to choose”, that you would have aborted me, if I was in your belly.   That is just my impressions while we discussed the appropriateness of government intervention in the lives of citizens.  I am sure my mom, and many others, did not decide, when they got married, “I want a nice disabled child …….. with medical problems galore, etc”.  Those are not the attributes mom’s tend to talk about. 

I was born during a racists era, where, on the books in my country of birth, the 1960s, Eugenics Laws were on the books, in my Beloved Puerto Rico. It was enacted legislation. 

I have a BA in Puerto Rican Studies (Sociology), because I wanted to know my roots. 

I did not like what I found.  I found death among my people by the oppressors.  The Mozart and Roman and Greek History was not mine. I know my heritage.  I am educated.

As we discussed, it is not the first time I was told, “You will not get anywhere with this.”

On the week before, I was told by another LA, with the nice plush red rug and lamp in her office, you will not get anywhere.  They are all up for re-elections and many will not be here. 

I would hope that the ISSUE outweighs the LOOK.  And I am thankful and sorry to those LA’s whom opened the door for me and accepted me into their offices warmly. 

Can we continue to have veterans commit suicide?

Can we continue to have the disabled unemployed?

Is six years of unemployment proper?

You tell me please, what is the answer?  

All I asked for is affirmative employment legislation.

You were gorgeous, you were pleasant, you were FRANK, as we had a FRANK discussion.

It was not a heated discussion but being Honest and I thank you for your time.  And, I honestly am sorry to all the other LA’s that asked me to come back and meet with their representatives.   I asked that they present the issue and if one of the representative would “go with it”.  I am not looking for a moment in the spotlight, that is why I chose to ask only that LA’s present the issue to the Representative.  I do not want to be the Poster Boy.  I have too many people already looking at me whom say “He has a right to die.”  The Poster Boy need not be Jerry’s Kid.  I hated that concept.  But, if I have to meet with representatives because they need a poster boy, then I will.  If they need the face of Poverty and Education, I can step up to the plate.  But, I implore and plead with all representatives and LA’s to just look at the ISSUE and come up with a solution.  

I am sorry; it was not my drug addiction that caused me to be disabled.  It is not something my mom did or did not do.  I am proud of her for not choosing abortion or to abandon her child whom was born DIFFERENT.   She instilled the idea of “GETTING MY EDUCATION” and not following the path that others choose; drugs, suicide, sex, alcohol, crime, and immorality, etc. 

I am sorry for the shirt.

I am sorry for the sweatpants.

I am sorry for the tennis shoes.

I am sorry for the wheelchair.

I AM SORRY FOR THE WAY I LOOK.

 Dedicated to the North Carolina Legislative Assistants of North Carolina.

Proceso Del Corte Para Demandas. Recovery Judgment Court Process

Click Links Here/Hace Clique

The Court Process and Claiming Your Restitution. El Proceso De La Corte Y Clamando Su Dinero

Click for the Information on the Post about Judgment and the court process.

Hace Click para la informacion del proceso para recibir su dinero de la corte y mas informacion general de la corte.

DO NOT COME HERE

Working With the Man in the Mirror:  Pastoring Churches and the “Mission”

I came to North Carolina (2001), and, diligently did a search for neighborhood churches. 

Of course, it was for a White Church, a Black Church, and a Hispanic Church. 

I found all three, Cary Alliance, Elevation, and La Primera Iglesia and Caratini’s Church.

Caratini’s church was really small.  They had a store front listed as their address off of Cameron Village.  They had services at an old movie theater in Raleigh near where Hamricks used to be.  They rented one of the theater rooms, and preached. 

Caratini’s ministry focused on direct help for people, to include purchasing and housing people.  I saw the church grow.  I left the church when I got married, my ex-wife did not speak Spanish.  And, the church grew and grew, and, now it is one of the biggest churches in Raleigh.  His focus remained to directly help people by providing them services.  And, right now, he has one of the biggest homeless feed programs along with a whole host of other programS that is the foundation of that church growth.  The church is huge and attendance in the thousands. 

Some pastors inherit congregations, as they assume the pastoral responsibility.  They assume a position over a large congregation.  That “inheritance” can be good or bad.  The focus should be a mission to do the will of God, and, not continue things as usual.

“They are coming to Wendell”, was the proclamation.  Who is “they”?  Aren’t “they” already in Wendell?  Who is “coming”?  Our church will grow as we welcome them.  But, “they” are here I think.  They, the people Christ wants us to witness to, are in the poor sections of Wendell.  They are over by the 231 Junction, the trailer homes that are impoverished.  They are in Robinwood and Oliver House, subsidized elderly and housing.  They are in the trailer homes that are hidden away near Cover Bridge and 231 Junction, and Morphus Bridge Road.  They are by Chaplin Street.  Who are they?  They should be the poor.  Otherwise, “they” must be the well-to-do, that will come to live in the newly built houses, those near/on Wood Green and other parts of Wendell like Wendell Falls.  Help those that can help themselves?  Help them?  Welcome them?

Readers used to be incorporated into the church.  They are coming. but how many are here?  How many church vans have wheelchair lifts to bring the disabled to services on Sunday?  How many “old granny moms” and “old granny dad” that can no-longer drive come to church on Sunday.  Oh, that’s right, a church van pulls up to Oliver House every Sunday Morning “to invite them to worship” whom cannot walk or drive to the church on Sunday’s and Wednesday.  It was nice this past Sunday seeing a minister preach whom really needed a reader to help him, but that was a reminder of the past (for the past three weeks I have been attend two separate church services on Sundays at two different churches).  The past is where the majority of the congregation could not read and readers were needed.  The past is where I attended services where people could not hold their bibles or needed someone to turn the pages for them, but they worshipped and loved God.

This past Sunday, I wanted so bad to go to the front, during services, and be the only wheelchair in the front (HBC).  But, it is not through dramatic and disruptive acts.  God tends to gently ask us to do His will.  That will, if I am not mistaken, is doing what Jesus did, taking to the streets to go to the ones whom could not attend church.  He went out and healed the sick, crippled, maimed and insane, etc.  Or perhaps, the church should be a placed where the crippled and infirmed should not be because of their “blemish”.  Two contradictory theologies here.  Having a place at the Table of David, or/versus, Pharisees and Sadducees and the pomp and glory of church with no action.  I thought the wedding was “not attended” and it was commanded to “go out and get those” whom were not invited.  A cripple and homeless person is rarely invited, but, should church continue the policy. 

To think and reflect, is the church representative, with every Sunday attendance, of what the church was charged to do.  Can you count the number of wheelchairs and canes during the morning services?  Are they more than 1%, one, two, or three?  I would think that if you have at least 1 for every 25 attendees, then, you are doing good?  Think about it like this, somebody’s grandma and grandpa is not making it to church.  Some impoverished child down the block is not making it to church.  If you can get one person from Robinwood and one from Oliver House, then, that would be a start, I would think. 

Being a pastor is an awesome responsibility.  You tend to lead by example.  If you are okay with the church vans just sitting idle on Sunday, then so be it.  Just do not say, “Nobody ever said anything.”  Charge the deacons.  Charge the elders.  If they do not heed, you might try going out yourself at least once a month.  I was so happy and have been so happy when the same guy whom helped me with the communion table, months to a year ago, is there to hold the door open as I wheel down the ramp at high speed at HBC. 

There are different focuses of different churches.  Some of them have awesome special needs programs.  Are you content with what the CHURCH is doing and how it looks? 

An attempt at a new ministry is being made.  The focus is the Eastern Part of the State.  Further out from Wendell.  It is trying to help others thereat.  Why focus on areas where they is already a “truck load of services”. 

He said, “That is why we need somebody like you.”  You see the vision, you see the wheelchairs. I responded with “is that not the mission for the church”.  What does the pastor see? 

Churches have changed.  The populations tend to be younger.  The feeling tend to be the elderly need to be in nursing homes to be visited on Sundays.  Not, while the elderly are in nursing homes, we should bring them to church on Sunday. 

Yesterday, I sat and heard that it was only in the 1990s, that this big military state began to have nursing homes for Vets.  So, it was decades before someone saw the need in North Carolina.  It is 2016, with all the handicapped equipped vehicles, you would think that every church would “have one”,  Hum?  My step dad sold two last year for $2000.00 each.  I am sure “too expensive” would be one argument.  “Seek and ye shall find”; “knock and the door shall be opened”.  2016 and still not every church “has one”, a van to pick up those elderly.  Those attachments to the “back of vans” do not cost so much.  You can start with the cheapest route, less that $350.00, to make your non-handicapped vans capable of carrying at least one wheelchair  http://www.calibex.com/Wheelchair-Carrier/shop-html?nxtg=5ed0a1c050d-4308A09AEBC046C4 .  SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND.  CARRY SOMEBODY TO CHURCH.  Just make sure you get a trap to cover the chair if it rains. 

Working with the Man in the mirror can be difficult at times.  Sometime, we really cannot see what “that man” looks like,  That is where and when we need others to “wake us up” and smell the coffee and see the reality.  God Forbid, but, when you talk about “how many people” attend church, whom use a wheel chair, “Ask a DEEPER QUESTION, how many preachers and ministers you have on your staff that Use a Wheelchair?”  Just about all NC churches have NONE.  YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED TO THE PULPIT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WELCOMES HERE.  DO NOT ENTER.  IS THIS THE ‘ROUNDED SYMBOL’ PREACHED ABOUT ON SUNDAY?

 Dedicated to a Good Pastor, HBC