And She Cried Herself To Sleep

And She Cried Herself To Sleep Again

As a parent, it hurts.  It hurts to see a child being emotionally abused by that other parent/sibling.

She talked and proclaimed the exciting weekend she was about to have with her sister.

They were going to the movies, to the mall, to play pool, to the sugar factory.  A Saturday filled with some awesome events.

She told all her friends at school and they were envious.  Then, the text message came through, have her come on Sunday, and we can do some things, but not all that was promised.  It was a let down on top of a let down.  An injury on top of an injury. 

Wednesday, I took the kids, my two kids, to a local carnival.  I could not afford full admission, and, the ticket booth did not take credit cards (I just do not have the money in the bank, and, paying for full entry bracelets would be possible if they took credit cards).  I promised and delivered on my promise.  I said they could ride two rides each.  I delivered three rides each. 

They wanted one more ride, total cost $10.00.  Their mom’s showed up, and they hoped to ride, but the $10.00 was just not there.  That was okay though, and everyone was okay.  But the first injury occurred in the parking lot.  At some time my daughter was talking with her mom, and, again, harsh words and rejection ensued.  I had to deal with a crying daughter coming to the car because her mom told her off.  Instead of trying to be understanding and making a way, mom acted, it seems, like a child and told her daughter off.  Why?  Hum? I do not know what happened but had to deal with an injured child. 

Anyway, this time, the rebound was quicker, because, after being let down so many times by her mom’s, she is building up a tolerance. 

Unfortunately, today’s let down came from her sister, totally unexpected.  Last week, all the promises of a glorious weekend ensued and occurred.  Then, today, the let down, “She can come Sunday” the text read.  My daughter “held most of it in” in the car, with her friend being over, but, once she got home she let it all out, and started balling from tears.  Balling and balling until she went into my room, and cried herself to sleep. 

I guess a new level of toughness will come about for her.  Her sister complained about Adriana not spending time with her, and, Adriana made the effort to set something up with her, but, the let down occurred, just like it does with her mom.  I did not expect, and, most of all, she did not expect it.  That is dealing with children from divorced and separated households.  These are the emotional trials and tribulations dads have to deal with.  It hurts me and tears did come to my eyes, but, there is nothing I could do to protect her or stop the hurt from happening.  

I pray for the hedge of protection from God for my son as he is with his mom this weekend. 

Let God see the plight of my child(ren).  I am being there to support her/them through it all. 

God Bless.  

50 B Protective Order in NC

I remember someone sharing their experiences with me, once upon a time, about protective orders.  

The scenario is the wife took out a 50 B (Domestic Violence Protective Order) against the husband, all while divorce proceedings and custody proceeding are going forth.  Well, apparently, the Wife stated he sent over 13 violent text/ letters/voice messages to her.  The DVPO, exparte, was granted. 

Things to keep in mind, if you did not send the letters/voice/text messages to her, then, once you get to court, request that she provide copies of such.  Also, make sure that you had secured your telephone.  Meaning that she had not the opportunity to text herself those messages off your own phone. 

In general, it is well established that people will use protective orders as tools to get back at the other person in a divorce custody proceedings.  Here, the person was trying to gain full custody so that she can take the kids back to another country.  Passports, if they were not taken out or issued before a custody complaint, and joint legal and physical custody was granted by the court, then they cannot be issued without the signature of the other party after court orders were issued.  It is hard as heck to get a passport after you have a court order granting joint custody.  You must get that other signature. So, make sure you have joint legal custody at minimum.  

In general, only seek a protective order if you are fearful, the other person is psychotic, of being injured in some sort of way.  The other way most times to address things, violations of a court order, is through Motion to Show Cause, and, Contempt Proceedings. 

If a no contact order was issued against you, do not worry, make sure you attend court, and, get legal counsel; only for the purposes of DVPO, in Raleigh NC, Try Steve Monks [I do not recommend him for any other purposes other than initial DVPO].   Do not be baited into contacting the other party directly, for example, if she/the other person, contacts you, then they are violating the order not you.  DO NOT RESPOND if the order prohibits such. There is a low cost legal clinic in Raleigh if you cannot get a lawyer.  You must and should respond to all things and attend all court sessions.  Failure to do so can have some severe and adverse outcomes.  

DVPO’s can be granted Exparte in NC, meaning that the other person did not show for the initial complaint and hearing, but, they all require hearings for long-term enforcement (usually within 10 to 30 days).  In other words, some nut, your ex, can come and say anything, like you threatened to shoot or kill them with your rifle and grenade, knowing full well you do not have those things.  But, they have to prove such in court at some point and time, and, you need to show up to defend yourself.  50 C proceedings are protective orders against people not related to you.

Really, if you can, with DVPO’s, get a lawyer. 

One lady in a group, once upon a time, said at one time her ex claimed she ran over him, several time, over his head.  Hum, no brain injury.  The prosecutors and detectives showed up at her doorsteps, and, you know what, it all got dismissed.  Crap happens.  Maybe in reality the person really did have a brain injury/mental illness.  That happens when they live in that alternate reality.  

Just a General Word about Judges

Judges here in NC are overworked and can not get to cases at times.  And, Usually, one matter/proceeding depends upon another.  That is just the way things are.  One person complained that the judge still had not issued an order.  Well, that happens all the time unfortunately, and, many times one action is dependent upon the other.  

Complaints/Cause of Action/Lawsuit:

You have been injured; you suffered some sort of loss.  Someone did something to you and you feel "they need to pay".  A complaint is when you file papers with the court to identify what somebody did to hurt you and why you feel they need to pay.  The court determines if they caused your injury and have to pay.  So when you are filing a complaint, write it like a story if you do not have a lawyer, and sometimes, the more details you provide, the better off you are.  Be precise.  For example, I paid him to cut my lawn, and instead, he never came to do the job; or, he cut the lawn and broke the window to my van.  With dates, times, and as much details, and proof, like a contract, to show what you are complaining about and why he/she needs to "pay".  

The court clerks can help you decide at times where your complaint needs to be filed.  There are many types of courts.  Drug Court, Family Court, Supreme Court, Child Support Court, Superior Court, Traffic Court, and Small Claims Court, etc.  So, make sure you are filing your action/complaint in the right court.  Otherwise you are wasting your time because the judge or the opposing side will quickly let you know you are in the WRONG COURT.  

Modem/Driver/Windows 10/Updates

Some of the basic questions this week was regards to computers. 

I had purchased a USB Sound By Pass device because a person’s computer had no audio.

Pretty much figured the sound card was damaged or nolonger working, those things do happen, rarely, but depends on the quality of the equipment you buy. 

Well that did not work. 

Come to find out it was a driver problem.

Not an uncommon problem. 

The way it was fixed was to go on the computer manufacturer website, download a device identifying program, download the driver from manufacturer, and install. 

It worked, sound was restored.  That crap happens all the time. But why?

Some of the causes are Windows updates that get interrupted [Microsoft lets you know not to power off a computer in the middle of an update, but, people do it all the time].

It may have been an upgrade driver issue.  The computer was upgraded from Windows 7, to Windows 8/8.1, then to Window 10.  So, perhaps, in the midst, an incompatible driver was probably automatically installed from Microsoft. That crap happens too because Windows tends to install crappy generic type drivers, and, sometimes they do not work as well as the manufacturers.  I think finally the manufacturer corrected or uploaded updated drivers to their website to.  Either way the driver was the issue. 

How Do I connect to the Internet?

If you have an ISP that provides internet to you place of residence, the signal comes in through a modem first.  The type of model is usually a cable modem or DSL modem.  You can connect your computer directly to the cable modem, but smartphones, streamers, usually need to connect to internet via a WIFI signal, or you pay for data on your smartphone.  Well, a router, is not a modem.  A router is a device connected to the modem that broadcast your internet through your house.  A TV is a TV without an antenna, but you may not see much.  A Router works like an antenna or rather a Satellite; it takes your modem signal, and sends it in the air that your computer [with WIFI capabilities/card] picks up.  You can have a modem without a router.  Most ISP [internet service providers] now require you register your router/modem with them, or it will just not work because they will send a signal to the modem to prevent it being used with a router.  A router can be open, in terms of security, so anyone can use your internet, or you can install security on it, so they have to log into your internet to use it.  The more security the better for you.

Windows 10

I hated Windows 8 and 8.1; pretty much useless because the app store really sucked.  Then ofcourse, if you upgraded you lost many of you paid for applications and programs.  Windows 10 lets your computer act more like a streamer box ROKU.  It has more channels/applications.  So, if you only have enough money for internet to your home, basic services, you can see the PBS kids channel and a lot of other free content, like a ROKU player.  While Windows 10 has more apps, better, step up, it does not compare with GOOGLE and Android based computers and smartphones.  For example, just like the Apple Iphones, you have apps in Google that you probably have to pay for if you use an IPHONE or just does not exist in Windows 10.  Some of my favorite apps are not available outside of a Google Droid.  So, I stick with Google. 

One problem with Windows 10 is often it tries to make you get a WORTHLESS outlook account.  It is one of those microsoft things.  But, MS accounts are better if you want to avoid the GOOGLE, all Powerful, Invasion of Privacy.  

One last thing, if I come to your home to fix your computer, do not crack on me.  Free services is Free services, you can pay over $200.00 to fix your stuff with the GEEK SQUAD.  LOL.  GOD BLESS.