May you Rest in Peace

It Troubles My Heart

I do not know, and maybe it is just me; but if someone is about to pass in this lifetime to another world, and they call for you to be by their side, I would think you would do all you can to be by their side.

A loved one called for a family member to be by their side, and, the answer from the family member was “I do not want to go there”, I want to remember her the way she was. 

Close family members for the loved one agreed with that family member’s decision.  It was hard for me to be a part of the conversation and process at that point.  My whole perception is regardless of how a person looks like now, a dramatic change from what they were, if they called on you for a need you would be by their side.  Swollen faces and disfigurement for me are no reason to bar myself from visiting someone.  And, to that end, I made a commitment to myself to “whatever the cost” get that family member to the loved one.  But, it did not happen and I am sad. 

I think it is incumbent and our duty as family to ensure that other family members do not feel strange about asking for favors, especially in times of need like death knocking on somebody’s heart.  I am hoping that the decline in my offer to drive my family to the loved one was not filtered through some resentment or ill will towards me. 

It is hard seeing this type of behavior.  It reminded me of the wounded soldiers that return home maimed and no one is there to greet them at the airport.  Or, the person involved in an accident, whom suddenly is wheelchair bound, and does not get a visit from their loved ones while in the hospital, and then return home to divorce papers because “for better or for worse” was not what they meant or could deal with. 

I pondered whether I should drive to the loved one on my own.  Then decided against it.  The reason being was to ask, “are you ready to cross over to the other side” and pray with that person.  But, in this instance, I know that some of her children were/are involved in church and sure enough prayed with and for her and shared the Good News with her.  So, I was at peace because I knew “someone talked with her”, and they being her children. 

My last two aunt’s that passed I am glad I got to visit them before they passed.  Also, in this instance, I am glad I drove with my mom last year to see our loved one.  We shared coffee and a meal and that was great.  It was a brief time, but, every moment and minute was special. 

I understand the decision not to visit the loved one, and know the family member really does not have the means to visit the loved one.  However, that family member sure enough wants to be there for the funeral, and, Lord Will, I will be there.

Please take time to be with your loved ones while they are alive, and not on their death beds.  God Bless.