My Days Teaching in the Chancellor District Schools in New York

My Days Teaching in the Chancellor District Schools in New York

I taught at various school in New York.

One school was in the Chancellor’s School District. 

I remember standing to take attendance in class.

I had a maximum of 5 students in my class, and, on most days one to three would show up.

The attendance roster had 17, hum?  17 students not present

So, when my daughter relayed that the name of her deceased best friend is still being called in her Wake County Middle school, that was a surprise by self, given the child died about three months ago. 

I started to wonder how many times she was been marked as present since her death.  How many times she got a zero for a test mark, or passed a test since her death? 

Then, even to more horror, my daughter and school mates had to explain the circumstances of the death of their friend to a Caucasian Substitute Teacher.  Once they finished explaining, the comments being reported as being said by that teacher was, “well, all White kids commit suicide”.  That sent my child into a spiral that caused her to leave the classroom and go to THE BATHROOM.  The reported comment was not “I am sorry for your loss” ……. “you all are in my prayers”.  I do not have a PHD as some, but can see how comments and actions like these contribute to a bad state of mind in a PTSD survivor. 

THE BATHROOM is a memorial place where the child last tried to commit suicide while on school property (the deceased best friend).  My daughter was joined by more than two of her best friends to console her.  As a teacher, how to do you miss people going to the bathroom?  As an administrator, how do you not guard or close the bathrooms that are being used as a memorial sites and “counseling rooms” by child (young adults), and for other deplorable purposes. 

Your school is too big, you say.  They can hide anywhere on campus you say.  Of course, the reason is the school is too overcrowded due to all the dead children attending.  If the school is too big, then close portions and sections.  Too many bathrooms, then, keep one open and the rest locked.  Let them walk clear across campus to the bathroom.  It is called door knobs with locks.  You give teachers and custodians keys.  You have a policy, like the military, to restrict access to certain known problem areas.  Your answer cannot be “we just cannot be everywhere all the time …….. the campus is too big ……… they have too many places to hide at”.   It is called hall monitors; it is called roaming and roving teachers.  It is called scattered lunch and break schedules.  It is not brain surgery or engineering tasks here. 

What do you do when children (young adults) target “survivors” with PTSD?  Do you allow the bullying, egging one, and teasing to continue.  No; as an administrator and school employee, you join the teasers and the insensitive and  the incompetence (no employee warnings or heads up to subs, just do and say what you want).  You call deceased, transferred, movedout of state,  moved out of county children on the attendance rolls.  A child is a tax dollars, and “We must get all the tax dollars we can”, at any cost. 

Then, the almighty tax dollars are so important.  A person with a Learning Disability will not generate or qualify the school for additional funding.  So, you place barriers towards children receiving, qualifying for, and participating in LD services.  Instead, you withhold services until a parent comes in with paperwork showing a ADD, ADHD, or Anxiety Disorder, etc.  So, for five years a child goes without needed services, although the child meet DSM Criteria for LD, but, your policies are not up-to-date to conform to current clinical standards, because an LD diagnosis is not profitable.  Wow. 

From the 1990, my teaching days, it seems like little has changed, and, I still have multiple experiences with different school, doing the same “ca-cas”.  Let us do something.  God Bless.  

We pay our taxes and teachers and administrators for a reason, and that reason is not so they can commit fraud.

Let us say, you work a third shift job.

You get off at 6, 7, or 8AM, you are tired.

You visit your frail and ailing parent in the morning before heading home

You get home and go to bed.

Do you have time to deal with a 11AM call from the Wake County School to see about your daughter?

Do you have time to to take your child after meeting with an administrator at 12 PM to a clinic?

Let us say, the clinic sends you to an emergency room. 

You wait for hours at a time there to be told your child is okay after dealing with the insensitivity and bullying at school; and are told the clinic your child attends should have taken care of.  

Do you have time to tend to walking the dog, cooking meals, doing homework, when, additionally, your car breaks down on the way to the emergency room and needs towing 9PM? 

You borrow someone's car and day ends and 12AM?  

Let us say this is the typical single parent.  DO YOU WANT TO OR SHOULD DEAL WITH THE ADMINISTRATIVE SCHOOL NONSENSE/Negligence?  is that fair for most or all single parent, and start the process again the next day.   

Can you feel ill then?  Should a two parent working family have to deal with things like this?  What makes a family eligible for continued racism and incompetence?  

Let Us Eat and Break Bread Together and Have Thing in Common

I grew up in a time when my mom’s made me a special meal.

I did not like meat much.  So, she cooked two dishes.  Rice and beans for me most of the time; and soups and special dishes with a lot of meat for them, when we had meat, for the others.  (Those special occasions.)

It was not those “do not get up and leave the table until you eat what is placed before you.”  No, it was I will prepare what you want to eat, but, YOU MUST EAT SOMETHING.

I am not sure if it was because she had children with special needs that she developed that mentality. 

All I know is, despite being ridiculed, she prepared separate dishes.  She had changed from a reckless young person to a dedicated mom. 

I do not take my children to churches where they feel not welcomed.  But, they WILL GO TO CHURCH on Sunday.  Where they go is not as important as to going. 

I cannot be in the room with them. I cannot make them feel welcome.  It is up to the church to make them feel welcome. 

They are a part of ministry.  I, last week received a praise and thank you report from church security. 

She said she saw my daughter with two children on her lap reading to them.  She was proud of my daughter, she was pleased. 

Meanwhile, I was with my children and two others.  I had to leave one behind because I did not have enough space in the car.  They feel welcomed.  They want to go to church.  There is no fuzz.  They are excited.  They eat. 

Then I heard the testimony.  I heard the testimony of the child that was brought to church.  The Ken Berry child that turned his life around.  The child that was a part of the van ministry.  The child now 28 and a manager and productive.  The child “Ken hard to TALK with”.  God is good and he used Ken.  God is good and he uses Colonial. 

I heard the testimony of the elder at Robinwood.  “I have been going to that church for five years now ………..   You would think they would call me when they did not see me for weeks  …………. You would think after five years they would ask me to be a member ………. None of that”, she said.  The response from the HBC elder was “the elderly are the ones that financially support the church ………. They are the ones because those you ones with five kids and a family cannot”, she said. 

In New York, after being saved, one Sunday in a Black church, One Sunday in a Hispanic Church, One Sunday in a Disabled/White church.  So was the rotation in the 90s, and the rotation continues, with the exception that I have not step foot in a Black church again because that is where my ex-wife found “her boo” and the church sanctioned that action, while married to me, and the boo married to another [and a worship leader and drummer].  I took my dad to the Hispanic church (I am Puerto Rican of origin). 

It was 2012, I stopped cooking in my home. She left the house for another.  I cooked a couple of times, and the kids did not eat.  Instead, fast food replaced regular meals; TV dinners the new staple.  That was my way of cooking separate meals.  Take them to the super market and let them pick their meals.  I was not going to buy food and let it rot because “I do not want to eat that”. 

I cannot be in the room.  I cannot make them feel welcome at a church.  That is up to church members.  That is up to the leaders.  I will not force them to go somewhere they do not feel welcomed.  They did attend churches in the past where they felt welcomed and loved, but, for some reason services ended or were changed or church closed, etc.  Supposed I force them to go to a church, and something happens to them there.  Then, for the rest of my life it would be self guilt and blame.  No, we were not raised in a home where you were “forced” to eat what was placed before you.  “A la maldita”, my mother used to say; that is doing things while cursing and doing it shamefully and deliberately sabotaging. 

There is nothing like worshiping God in Spanish to a Puerto Rican tone and flare (Iglesia Cristiana Juan 3:16 in Bronx NY, and the Ortero Church in ENY).  That tradition continues at PPAD in Knightdale.  That is my Puerto Rican side.  Cary Alliance was the first church in NC I attended on the regular.  It is the White Church here I would recommend to anyone.  Elevation Baptist is the Black church I attended for some time aside from the last one Raleigh Hill Baptist Church (I would recommend Elevation but stay clear from RHBC).  PPAD and Casa de Dios are the Hispanic Churches I would recommend along with Cathedral De Dios in Zebulon.  RRBC, in Wilson is good but in transition (awesome care ministry).  Wendell Baptist is recommended some. 

The problem in the 90s continues in 2017.  For example, Colonial does not have a Hispanic Ministry Housed therein.  So, being multicultural, the rotation must continue. Attend a Black Church, Attend, a White Church, Attend a Hispanic Church, because, no one church contains all three elements.  Most churches continue not to fellowship one with the one.  So, me and my children and the needy ones we carry benefit from all the worlds, the churches of God.  We rotate.  They continue to be exposed to ALL forms of worship (except for me taking them to a Black Church now). 

It is easier now for me “Train a child when they are young and they will not depart when they are old from that way”.  I do not have to pull or drag them to Colonial, they beat me to the car.  Our problem now is we are missing transport to carry the others that want to go with us.  At least three more want to go on a regular, but I had to sell my van to keep my home.  I do not have the space to carry more children.  They sing to the Gospel and Christian songs, no more covering of ears, no more “please do not play that song”.  It is not second nature.  No more asking them to bless their food.  No reminder to get their Bible.  No pulling to leave church early.  It makes a difference when children are ministry workers and helpers versus “being dragged to church”.  They love Colonial.  They feel welcomed.  So, am I supposed to “force them to go elsewhere”.  The answer is no and lies in the statement of my daughter “I want to be Baptized.” 

I would hope for the day when all of God’s children would freely visit and talk with one another and get together to help others (so I hear WBC is trying to do).  God will bless.  I miss being at Universal and visiting other churches on the regular as a ministry lead events.  That was what evening services were for.  The time to visit our other brothers and sisters.  Combined events were the regular (get in the church vans and buses and go fellowhip).  Churches got together.  Not here in NC, but yet I am ridiculed, as a recent email was received, “sit down, be a part of one church ………. Said from the pastor whom does not talk to the Hispanic minister in his own church, wow”. 

When will the day be when all churches have universal membership or a member at large status.  Meaning, you are “Welcomed to worship with us, and to participate in our member services and events, so long as you are Born again and have accepted Christ”, and, that is the only requisite.  Instead, the barriers continue in church.  And the territorialness one Hispanic pastor told me off.  “They do not want us to go over there ……….. we tried to help”, he said.  Territorialness not Godliness.  My duty is not shared by many.  My duty is to help and minister and offer help.  Some will not accept my help, some do.  God is Good All the Time. 

I ask that you be a part of Kingdom building and Barrier Removing.  You may go against the grain, and some pastors do know and understand and accept that position.  “When we all get to Heaven, What a day of rejoicing it Will be”, so the song says,  but, will there be a special section there for me.  Hum?  The racial and ethnic divide in Heaven.  To attend this church you “Must learn English    ……..”  To attend this church you “Must learn Spanish”.  Why not try once a month “Bilingual services at all churches, etc”.  Have elderly and disabled once a month at all churches.  Fill those vans with Wheelchairs would be the challenge I would say.  Hum? 

Employment boards; housing boards; services boards; Substance Abuse Groups; Care Ministries; Clothing programs, feeding programs, etc.  Churches in action.  Eso es la iglesia.  Joint services once a month.  Why do people not want to give their tithes and offerings?  Hum?  Why do churches not get along and do what they are charged to do?  Are they answers beyond our abilities?   I give, I contribute.  I go the highways and byways.  God is Good. 

Thank God that He blessed me and has provided fruit to my labor of making sure my children are raised in church.  I do not struggle much anymore.  God is Good, and I am thankful.  

Dedicated to Ethel Rothenberg and Barbara Sirois

Growing up in Elementary School was challenging, in a Public School, PS 213.

Being a Special Needs person, in the midst of an era where special services was just being learned and approved. 

It was called the Committee on the Handicapped.  Not everyone saw the vision; and, not everyone was for the vision they saw. 

They did not belong in public schools, they said.  Integration in a public school environment, huh?  From segregation to mainstreaming, that was the challenge. 

“They can learn”, she said 

“They deserve a change”, she proclaimed.

All they need is a little extra services; the teachers did not understand, were indifferent, or, more specifically, ADAMANTLY OPPOSED.  I do not want those kids with my kids (parents said).  THEY MIGHT BECOME ONE OF THEM. 

Kids that slobbered, although intelligent.  Slurred speech but with a sharp mind. 

Can add subtract and divide, but cannot hold a pencil right. 

“Teach them”, she said.  She fought so hard against her fellow teachers.

Those educators whom did not want them there.  No extra tax dollars to spend; but you can spend it on a government welfare checks to keep them uneducated and unproductive.  Let us continue to warehouse them.

We learned, we socialized in a limited capacity.

I was scared of them more-so than them of me, I believe.  We were exposed to them every once in a while in integrated classes.  I panicked and longed for them to leave. 

They were the aliens invading our rooms.  We did not know what to do, but made it through the 45 minute intervals. 

We learned and were in the classroom only because of people like Ethel Rothenberg. 

I learned and made it through because of People like Barbara Sirois.

In college to get my degree.  I did not need to explain anything to her.  She knew it took me a little longer to get to the computer labs, to the library.  She knew I needed a little extra time.  She knew of those little helpful things that helped me get my masters. 

Did I need to go to the bathroom?  Yes, she knew.  A wheelchair accessible bathroom.  Did I need first pick on my classes, so that I could have them in the same building and not run across campus in 10 minutes from one class to another, SHE KNEW.  SHE HELPED.  SHE MADE MY COLLEGE DEGREE POSSIBLE.  She was Barbara Sirois. 

Dedicated thanks to Barbara and Ethel. 

And now I face the same hurdles and barriers for my child.  He is awesome in sports and loves the outdoors.  Intelligent he is.  Helpful and awesome. 

They say he is just a little behind others.  At the same IQ level.  But, it takes him a little more effort not much. 

Give him a little help is all I asked for, even the playing field.  They said no.  They are not the Ethel Rothenberg’s and Barbara Sirois’s.  They are the other.  The non-caring and ADAMANTLY opposed ones. 

I am hoping THEY can live with themselves.  I am hoping for God’s judgment.  

What happens when you cause and contribute to someone failing in their education.  What happens when you contribute to generational illiteracy and dysfunction.  Instead of helping and making presumptions to help and deliver services, you create and erect barriers in education.  You cause and turn people from an opportunity to succeed, but lead them to failure and more emotional loss.  YOU KILL THEIR SPIRIT AND DESIRE.  YOU HURT THEM.  YOU ARE NOT ETHEL OR BARBARA.

They bent over backwards, they knew and helped.

You are the impersonal obstinate administrator.  I will not speak up or make waves.  I love my job.  But all the injured children, are in your school, going without their needs being met.  What if God strips you of your wealth and prestige? What if you die with your wealth and prestige but are held accountable for all the lives you caused to fail and criminals and dysfunctionals you generated by saying no to help.  Will the wealth ease your mind if he sends you below?

My child was injured, he faced divorce.

My child was injured, he was retained in your school.

I objected and advocated. 

You held back and denied and supported the decisions and ac1tions of your superior.  You are an administrator part of the system.  They were rebels, true educators, with a cause, a heart, a compassion, a love for children, a love for people. 

I dedicate this also to the other.  The other Faison’s and Smith’s .  The other IEP teams/members.  God is Good.  He will provide.

I remember the good done to and for me.  THE PURPOSE TO WRITE IS TO REMEMBER.  I remember Barbara, Ethel, Elaine, and the hundreds of others.  God Bless.  The purpose is to remember while I cry for my child.  To write I am commanded.  

The Barriers in The Church And This is the Modern Church

I Remember a Better Day

I remember being a part of and designing a logo for a community collaborative of churches in New York, minister and members from different churches and denominations standing together to help people.

I remember the housing program.

I remember unifying with the community policing, the church and the police.

I remember the feeding programs.

I remember the Van Ministry and the Mothers of the church.

I remember the church dinners. 

I remember the follow-ship and visiting other churches and singing for the choir.

I remember the prison outreach ministry and the global evangelism. 

I remember a whole lot of other outreach programs and being picked up after revival services.

I remember the mothers of the church and they being filled with the Holy Ghost.

I remember the right hand of fellowship.

I remember being baptized three times.

I remember the old-time minister and praying with him that Jesus would save me;  “Save me Jesus…….. Save me Jesus………. Fill me Jesus…….. Fill me Jesus” [in Summer 1985]. The Summer Revival Services.

I remember 21 day fast.

I remember tarrying for the Holy Ghost all night long and slobbering. 

I remember the testimonials before services.

I remember the songs before services.

I remember the youth outreach to those that came to church with guns intending to rob the church.

I remember the pastor going to the court to advocate for the children.

I remember him getting calls all night long.

The church dinners and all these things, where are they at.

The barriers in the church. 

We do not want those programs because they draw “those people”.

We will have events but not put on road side signs to invite member of the general public [while the event is for the general public].

We cannot go to the neighborhood hospitals and nursing homes, etc, because “we respect their privacy …….. our tax dollars are for the nursing homes”, these are the new barriers and rationale for not helping. 

We do not help with jobs because there is unemployment insurance and “welfare”, these are the new barriers and rationale for not helping. 

I remember Caratini.

The barriers are a right hand of fellowship is replaced with a six month new beginners course.

The baptism is replaced with six months of classes to understand baptism. 

The bible studies no-longer welcome the illiterate, and, you must purchase a book and literature. 

God forbid if you want to become a member.  Now you must be interviewed and have a resume. 

The barriers are the disabled and the mothers do not even attend.

“NO FOOD FOR YOU’, no clothing. 

You want help, fill out an application, and we will determine if you paid enough tithes and offerings.

No clothes for you.

No housing. 

“Tunnel vision” they say you have.  But, the churches are clubs.

Invited to bar-b-ques in one church, and outcast and outside of the group-club in another (those exclusive clubs and secret societies). 

“Tunnel vision” from churches that do not get along and visit each other, but we are all “BROTHERS AND SISTERS” in Christ “One big old Southern Baptist Convention”.  [But your own statistics and reports show a membership decline and failure.]

My memories may be different than yours.  But, I have seen a glorious church(es), and, if I remember and reflect on those, and am grateful; then, do not get angry with me and call me names.  I am just thankful and writing things down in my book of remembrance.  Be Thankful.  God Bless.

You Are Crazy You Idiot How Could you Drive out There with Her

She Said Thank You While I Remembered Being Chewed Out

I remember, last year, about summer time, being chewed out my by Youngest Brother

How could you drive that piece of junk to Pennsylvania? 

You have no business driving her in the middle of the night?

But, my mom’s said, “Thank You.”

She wanted so much to go to the funeral of her sister. 

She wanted so much to see her one last time.

But, she said, “Thank you”.

“If it was not for you, I would not have seen her before she died”, she said. 

We had Gone in my Beat Up Geo Prizm. 

When she found out her sister was suffering from brain cancer/tumors, she wanted to see her. 

I made a special trip out there, and, there was closure. 

Two sister’s “loved on each other” and forgave their differences and made amends and had two meals together. 

And, afterwards, my moms regularly sent stuff to her sister and talked with her. 

Way back when, I asked if anyone would help to get my mom’s to PA.

Only one sibling out of seven responded favorably. 

He said, you can use my Gran AM.

All the rest seemed to be against me. 

They are the ones with the fancy cars and nicer homes. 

But God used me to be a blessing to my mom’s and her sister. 

And now I am at rest, but I do remember. 

I remember the harsh words and absence of responses. 

“They all” have the extra money to go on vacations and ski resorts and trips all over the world.

The fly here, they drive there, they go everywhere.  But, no one could come up with money to send my mom’s to PA, so I drove her. 

And, I was willing to drive her to the funeral, but God did not permit that to happen because of her “medical condition” and scheduled surgeries.  When I told her her sister passed, she sighed, but then immediately said, “Let’s go” to see and be a part of the funeral.  Unfortunately, that did not happen. 

But the blessing was when she said to me, “If it was not for you driving me I would not have seen my sister.”  That made my heart glad.

If the Lord Will, I will do such and such.  Life can disrupt your plans.  It is important then to make sure we do Right by others and see them while we can.  I am at rest.  My siblings are helping with funeral costs, but the best blessing is mine.  They bulked when they calculated over $1000.00 to attend a funeral, so they decided to send money instead.  God is Good and Knows everything and Sees all and Thankfully, prior to leaving this world, my moms did see her sister.  

He Will Supply All Your Needs According to His Riches and Glory

He Will Supply All of Your Needs According to His Riches and Glory

I just could not do it.  I could not clear my storage closet. 

When my ex-wife had left, she tossed things all over. 

Stuff was taken off the shelves. It was a disarray. 

Within me, while physically and financially, I had the resources and capability, the drive, will, and desire was absent. 

I focused and continue to focus on ministry.   That focus was the basis for the blessings.

The Blessings was from the Young People from Casa whom came to my home this past weekend to “get rid of my baggage" [junk].  They cleared out the storage unit, and, simultaneously God gave me the will power to just “Let it all Go!”.  I let go of the junk that was hindering progress.  And, repairs were made that I needed to do.  Thank God for His church and the youth. 

The End result was a storage closet that was cleaned out.

The End Result was the completion of the ramp renovation started by Wendell Baptist Church (with the removal of debris). 

The end result is a coved storage area that looks professional in my back yard.

God is Good sand I thank Him for His blessings.

I have been in Wendell since 2004.

The first church I regularly attended here was Hephzibah Baptist Church.

What is and was interesting is in all the time I have lived here, not once did God allow them to be used, like those at WBC and Casa have been.  Yet and still, it presents they have more resources.  Yet it presents that I spent more time there than the two other churches combined.  Hum.

God is Good, and Again, I want to thank the Him and the Churches for the blessings.  He does provide for your needs according to His riches and Glory. 

Wendell Baptist

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlNnNtMW1FQlE0MGs

Casa Limpesa After

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlUnhMaVBROHIxMGM

Some of Casa Before Limpesa

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwHGYck_H8PlZG8zTGdUeGJOMUE